Saying yes to a rishta is one of the biggest decisions a person and a family can make. It is also a decision that is often made too quickly, on the basis of a good first impression, a nice profile, or pressure from relatives. The questions in this guide are here to slow that process down — not to make it cold or suspicious, but to make it honest.
You do not need to ask all fifty questions in one meeting. That would feel like an interrogation, and no one answers well under that kind of pressure. Use this list across the whole process: some questions at the first meeting, some in a second meeting, some in conversations between families, and some in quiet reflection with your parents. Choose the ones that matter to your situation, and listen carefully to the answers — including to what is not said.
Before you begin, read First Meeting After a Rishta Proposal: Questions to Ask for how to ask these questions kindly, and How to Write a Rishta Profile That Gets Responses to make sure the basics are already clear before you meet.
How to Use This List
Ask open questions, not yes-or-no traps. “Tell me about your daily life” will teach you more than “Are you a good person?” Listen for detail, consistency, and tone. A person who answers openly, asks you questions in return, and speaks respectfully about their family is showing you how they will behave in a marriage.
Take notes after each meeting, not during it. Write down what you learned and what still worries you. Share those notes with your parents. If an answer changes from one meeting to the next, notice it gently and ask for clarification. Most differences have an innocent explanation, but you deserve a clear one.
Faith, Values and Daily Life (Questions 1–10)
- How does faith shape your daily life? — This tells you about practice, not only belief.
- Do you pray regularly, and what does that look like in a normal week? — A practical question, asked without judgement.
- What values matter most to you in a marriage? — Listen for respect, kindness, and honesty, not only for religious words.
- How do you hope to raise children in terms of faith and character? — Important even if children are years away.
- What does a good day look like for you? — Daily life matters more than grand plans.
- What do you enjoy doing when you are not working? — Hobbies reveal character and how time is spent.
- How do you spend time with your family now? — This often predicts married life.
- What kind of home atmosphere do you hope to create? — Calm, busy, social, quiet — all are valid, but they must match.
- How important is it to you to live near parents or extended family? — A common source of later disagreement.
- What would you find hardest to compromise on? — Everyone has limits; honesty here prevents later resentment.
Character and How They Handle Difficulty (Questions 11–18)
- How do you handle disagreement — do you need space or talk it through? — There is no single right answer, but you need to know theirs.
- What do you do when you are stressed or upset? — Stress reveals habits that a first meeting hides.
- Can you tell me about a difficult time and how you got through it? — Look for honesty, responsibility, and learning, not blame.
- How do you apologise when you are wrong? — A person who cannot apologise will struggle in marriage.
- What do your closest friends or siblings say about you? — A small window into how others experience them.
- What is something you are working on improving about yourself? — Self-awareness is a good sign.
- How do you treat people who serve you — in a restaurant, at home, at work? — Manners towards others predict manners at home.
- What makes you feel respected, and what makes you feel disrespected? — This helps you understand each other’s boundaries.
Family, Parents and Expectations (Questions 19–26)
- How would you describe your parents and your relationship with them? — Family closeness shapes married life in our culture.
- How many siblings do you have, and how close are you? — Siblings are part of the package.
- What role do you expect your parents to play after marriage? — Expectations differ widely; name them early.
- What role do you expect your in-laws to play? — The same question, from the other side.
- How does your family make big decisions? — Together, by elders, or by the couple? Ask plainly.
- Are there family responsibilities I should know about? — Caring for parents, supporting siblings, or other duties.
- How does your family handle money and spending? — Habits around money often come from family.
- What family traditions matter most to you? — Eid, weddings, gatherings — traditions carry meaning.
Work, Money and Practical Life (Questions 27–35)
- What do you do for work, and do you enjoy it? — Work fills most waking hours; it matters.
- What are your work hours like in a normal week? — Long hours and shift work affect married life.
- What are your hopes for your career in the next few years? — Ambition is fine; it should be shared honestly.
- How do you feel about your spouse working after marriage? — Ask this directly, without assuming the answer.
- How should a couple handle household money? — Joint, separate, or shared with family? There is no one right way, but there must be agreement.
- Are there debts, loans, or financial commitments I should know about? — Ask kindly, but ask. Hidden debt destroys trust.
- Where do you see us living in the first year, and after that? — City, country, with family, or independently.
- Do you own, rent, or live with family now? — Practical, not judgemental.
- What would happen if one of us lost a job or needed to study further? — Life changes; a plan for hard times matters.
Health, Past and Honesty (Questions 36–42)
- Is there anything about your health that a spouse should know? — Asked with kindness, this is a fair and important question.
- Have you been married before, and if so, what did you learn? — A previous marriage is not a flaw, but honesty about it is essential.
- Is there anything in your past that could affect our future together? — Give space for an honest answer.
- How do you feel about keeping in touch with friends after marriage? — Friendships matter; boundaries should be agreed, not imposed.
- What are your views on social media and privacy in marriage? — A modern question that prevents modern arguments.
- How do you handle your phone, passwords, and personal space? — Trust and privacy need a shared understanding.
- Is there anything you would find difficult to forgive? — This reveals values and limits.
The Future: Children, Home and Growing Together (Questions 43–50)
- Do you hope to have children, and when? — Timing is personal; agreement matters more than a specific number.
- How do you imagine sharing childcare and housework? — Practical expectations prevent resentment.
- Where do you hope to be in five years? — Not a test, but a check that your directions align.
- If we needed to move country for work or family, how would you feel? — Especially important for UK–Pakistan and USA–Pakistan matches; see Long-Distance Rishta: Making UK–Pakistan and USA–Pakistan Matches Work.
- What would you do if a visa application took longer than expected? — Patience and a backup plan matter; visa timelines cannot be guaranteed, so check the official website for the current requirement.
- How will we keep our relationship strong when life gets busy? — Small habits — eating together, talking daily — sustain a marriage.
- What does a successful marriage look like to you in ten years? — This invites a shared vision, not a performance.
- Is there anything you would like to ask me that you have not asked yet? — The most important question of all, because it invites honesty in return.
Questions to Ask the Family, Not Only the Person
Some questions belong to the families, not the couple. Ask the parents: How did you raise your son or daughter? What do you hope for them in marriage? Are there any family circumstances — health, finances, or responsibilities — that we should understand? How do you see the two families staying connected after marriage?
Watch how the family answers. Do they speak warmly about each other? Do they let the son or daughter speak? Do they answer directly, or do they avoid the question? A family that is open and consistent is giving you a good sign. A family that is evasive, contradictory, or pressuring you to decide quickly deserves a careful second look. If you notice pressure or secrecy, read Rishta Fraud and Scams: How to Spot Fake Proposals before going further.
After You Have Asked: What the Answers Mean
Good answers are specific, consistent, and kind. They do not have to be perfect. A person who says “I am still working on my temper, and I walk away to calm down before I talk” is giving you a more useful answer than a person who says “I never get angry.” Honesty about weakness is a strength.
Be concerned if answers are vague every time, if they change between meetings without explanation, if the person refuses to answer reasonable questions, or if they become angry when asked. One awkward answer is not a reason to end a rishta. A pattern of avoidance is.
Talk through the answers with your parents. Write down what you liked, what worried you, and what you still need to know. If you need a second meeting to ask the remaining questions, ask for one. A good family will welcome the care you are taking.
Frequently Asked Questions
Should I ask all 50 questions?
No. Ask the ones that matter most to your situation, spread across several meetings. Trying to ask them all at once will feel like an interview and will not get honest answers. Pick ten to fifteen for the first two meetings, and keep the rest for later conversations.
Is it rude to ask about money, health, or a previous marriage?
It is not rude to ask respectfully, and it is unwise not to ask at all. These topics affect married life deeply. Ask kindly, in private where appropriate, and be ready to share honestly about yourself in return.
What if the other person gets upset by a question?
Stay calm, explain why you asked, and give them time. A reasonable question asked kindly should not end a rishta. If someone becomes angry at every serious question, that reaction itself is useful information.
How do I ask about visas without sounding suspicious?
Ask about plans, not promises: where would we live, who understands the process, and what happens if it takes time? No one can guarantee a visa outcome, so beware of anyone who does. For official guidance, see our visa articles, including UK Spouse Visa Guide.
Should parents ask these questions, or should the couple?
Both. Parents can ask family-level questions, and the couple should ask personal questions directly. The couple’s own conversation — even a short one — is essential, because they are the ones who will live together.
What is the single most important question?
“Is there anything you would like to ask me?” — and its twin, “Is there anything I should know?” A marriage built on honest answers to those two questions starts on solid ground.
Conclusion
A rishta is not decided by a profile or a first impression. It is decided by honest conversation, over time, between two people and two families who are willing to be clear about who they are and what they hope for. Use these fifty questions as a map, not a test. Ask them kindly, listen carefully, and discuss what you hear with your parents.
The right match will not be afraid of good questions. It will welcome them, because good questions show that you take marriage — and the other person — seriously. That seriousness, more than any single answer, is what a happy marriage is built on. For guidance on the next step after you say yes, read After Nikah Checklist: Documents, Travel and First Steps.
